Sometimes you have a really good week, right, and everything just magically goes your way. You’re productive, completing your Music Unit, writing up all of your English and Sociology notes, even finding time to practise for the school concert tomorrow, where you do really really well and you think you can actually achieve something in life.
That was October. Ah, the month of colourful leaves and crisp coolness, how I miss thee.
Fast forward four months. It’s February, everything is shit and you’re behind on every piece of school work you have ever started. You haven’t handed in a piece of Music coursework for, like 5 weeks, your English coursework doesn’t actually answer the question you’ve set for yourself and the school concert goes badly. So badly, you don’t think you can ever sing the song you sang again, because you’re getting horrible flashbacks and anxiety just thinking about it.
But suddenly, later in the week, you find the courage to talk to a teacher you really should have emailed a couple of week prior and they help you understand your EPQ work. And you find that, it isn’t as complicated or worrying as you thought it was and you might actually be able to bullshit your way into a good grade… if you try hard enough, even if you don’t know what you’re doing, something good can happen. Next thing you know, you’re talking to your supervisor about it and he is saying really nice things about your writing and you forget all of the horrible crap of the past week because someone thinks something you have done is good.
And that is a really nice feeling when you’ve spent the week searching for the note of the word “give” in the first line of the Goo Goo Doll’s song “Iris.” Screw that, my Minecraft based short story is good!
Despite all the bragging I’ve done in this blog post, I did have an underlying message to it; bad days come and go. Now, I am not speaking to those of you with depression, or other mental health issue… I understand that that is different, though I admit I cannot understand what depression feels like.
But, bad days do come and go, just as good days come and go. We seem to spend much more of our lives dwelling on the bat times we’ve had, instead of clinging onto the good ones. Thinking back to October, I cannot remember a specific good memory, though I generally remember feeling fairly positive about the month. Yet I do remember a specific event in November, where I started sobbing after an English lesson, because I was so disheartened by the grade I got in my test.
I know these events are specific to me, so why should they be relevant to you? I am not self absorbed enough to think “well, if I can deal with these problems, you can cope with whatever you’re going through,” because that would be rude and dismissive of me. No, my aim of this is not to say “carry on in spite of you’re problems because look at what I did,” but to remind you that there are good things coming.
I am a firm believer in karma and the idea of yin and yang, balancing each other out. For the negatives in your life, there will be positive ones coming, you just have to wait for them. And it’s going to feel crappy and rubbish and not worth it at all, but once you come out the other side, the pride and reward will be incredeible.