I’ve moved into my Uni dorm room, met my flat mates and complained about drunk loud people at 2am. I have officially moved to university. And I’m scared shitless.
I’m sorry, forgive my bad language. But it is warranted, because you can use bad language when no other word comes to mind. And no other word can describe how scared I am of being here.
For starters, the anxiety that has plagued me for two years has finally made it’s astounding return, leaving me little to no appetite. To be frank, it’s not even worth it, because I’m not worried about the things that matter, I’m worried about what I’m going to do with my dirty clothes, where the supermarket is, do my flat mates like me, what’s going on today, am I too loud am I too quiet. Today I have some mandatory activities but they don’t start till 11am. It’s currently 9 and I’ve been awake since 7. I don’t know what to do.
The paranoia and fears are already setting in.
It’s not just the normal anxiety either – it’s telling that it’s ‘normal anxiety’ – it’s the bigger things, the things everyone is scared of; money, my course, food. But then, everyone’s scared of the same thing, so is it worth bringing up?
I don’t know. I don’t know!! And I have to know to settle my anxiety and I don’t know and it’s making me anxious that I don’t know –
I need to go see someone. Post more when I’m settled.