This post was supposed to be next week, according to the schedule. However, the music related one can’t go up, because I forgot to take out some recording equipment for the weekend, so here we are instead.
There’s really only one reason I don’t drink, and, for once, it’s not as pretentious as I usually am.
When I’m really struggling with anxiety and stress and worry, I can have panic attacks – my breathing gets really short, my heart feels like it’s going to explode and every thing I’ve ever done wrong in my entire life flashes before my eyes; it really isn’t a fin experience.
But when it passes – and it always passes – I’m left feeling shaky, weak and like I’m wading through air.
And that’s the same feeling I have when drunk. Or, not drunk, because I’m not sure I’ve ever had enough to be drunk. But when I’m tipsy, I guess you could say.
And since the association I have with that feeling is panic attacks, I’d rather not be reminded of it. Especially when I’ve drank and am more liable to talk about personal stuff.