Day 22: An Open Letter (TW Death)

An open letter to the family who’s mother died on the bus on Saturday morning.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for your loss, I’m sorry you had to go through that experience in such a public place with a group of random strangers. I’m sorry I couldn’t help and I’m sorry I have no other way of dealing with witnessing this other than to make a blog post out of your pain.

I didn’t see the accident, so I can’t say what happened. Maybe it was fated. Maybe it was just bad luck. Maybe it was just a culmination of a series of unfortunate circumstances that led to a tragedy.

There is no way for me to understand what you felt, what you’re feeling now. I barely understand my own reaction to having been there when the ambulance was called, when she stopped breathing and her pulsed ceased. I only know that your sobs and cries and screams of anguish haunted me to work and back.

I’m sorry I froze. I’m sorry I was holding back a panic attack, but I’m glad I did because it wouldn’t have been helpful to anyone. It wouldn’t have woken your mum up. It wouldn’t have made the CPR any easier.

I don’t have any words of comfort – no half hearted, compulsory speech about how “she’s in a better place,” or “she’s not in pain anymore.” Just again, over and over. I’m sorry.

 

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