If you go back through my blog, you might find the first post I did about cutting my hair for my BEDIN challenge.
I have since cut my hair EVEN SHORTER – to the point where I’m not even sure if I like it this length.
No, I’m not going through a rough breakup. No, I’m not trying to find myself. No, I didn’t do it to ‘be more gay.’ Well… not intentionally.
I’m no psychologist, but I think the reason runs a bit deeper.
See, I’m a bit of a control freak. I like plans, organisation, structure. When things change, it makes me very panicky and anxious, because I don’t have a planned reaction to this brand new situation.
This is just who I am as a person; I’m working on being better, but let’s assume I’m not going to alter this core aspect of my personality overnight, okay?
So. There is a deep need for control. HOWEVER, it’s very exhausting to be like this all the time. I think that’s why I’ve been feeling really bad these past few weeks, really zoned out and anxious – because I’ve been wound so tightly.
Because I woke up feeling awful on Thursday morning, I acted without thinking. I just pulled the scissors out and started hacking at my hair and suddenly it’s too short to even put up in a ponytail.
The weird part? I felt a whole lot better the second it was gone.
Irrational behaviour done.
Back to planning out my life.