I love September. Still not yet over the ‘school year,’ my new year has always started in September. The air is colder and fresher, the apathetic, empty summer is behind me, and I can start being productive again.
Not this year though. We are a week into my favourite month and it’s like August is still here, like a visitor you cannot wait to be rid of. Everything is still hazy, foggy even. It’s taking me everything I have to sit and write, for the first time in over a month, and it feels good, but it’s hard. It’s trying to swim a mile when you haven’t been in the water in years.
I’d update you on what’s been happening but I really haven’t done a lot. I’ve worked, my horrible travel anxiety has been improving. Since the end of July, my anxiety has been fairly low level for the most part – except the mean work lady which is a blog post in and of itself – but I’ve kind of been living in a state of grey.
This is good, though. This gives me a chance to view whats happening through the eyes of someone else, which helps me understand myself.
And isn’t that all anybody wants?
This feels like a combination of not doing much outside of work over August – after an intensely busy July I thought I needed a break – alongside feeling overwhelmed (already) by the thought of 3rd year looming.
The last time I felt like this was the beginning of 6th form. To say that was a bad year would be an understatement, and I swore I’d never let that happen again. At least now I can recognise it and fight it, I suppose. That’s a vast improvement.
I don’t know. Expect the mean work lady story, and the mandatory post about heading into 3rd year because, oh man, 3rd year is gonna bring a whole new range of panic attacks.